Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Why I am SO Not a Twilight Fan.



Okay, so this is sort of taboo. Everyone LURVES Twilight, amiright? Well, I don't. But I'm not going to be a giant ass about it, as not only do I understand that many people enjoy Twilight and are certainly allowed to, but I also enjoy things that other people may not like. (uhm, Warcraft anyone?) There's no reason to hate on people or things just because you don't like 'em! TOLERANCE, go team!! :)

Okay, now that my pep talk is out of the way. No, I don't like Twilight. Honestly though, I've only read the first book, but I was just so disinterested and unimpressed that I just didn't want to read anymore. Let me tell you why...

The LURVE Story

I like love stories as much as the next guy... uhm, gal. But this one seemed to advance WAY too fast. I mean, at the end of the first book, they were talking marriage already. Wait, whaaaat? Back that truck up! Now I know that doesn't happen until later on in the series, but I think marriage would be one of the LAST things on a highschoolers mind. It was very unrealistic for me to read! (Yeah, I know the vampires were also unrealistic, but they were supposed to be; the humans are still humans!)

I'm also of the love-at-first-sight-is-a-lie camp. The fact that Joanie and Chachi fell in lurve within a mere few school months left me a little uneasy.

Now, like I said, I like the lurve story. When it's done well. This seemed to be done far too rushed to seem realistic. I like it when love takes time to grow and blossom and all of that smarmy crapola, it's great to read and really makes the story and characters that more engaging. (Yes, they had a few awkward talks in the car, and at that restaurant, but ... I feel it's lacking!) It needs more than just half a book to break out the L word.

Mary Who?

To me, from what I've read book-wise and cliff notes wise, this book just screams Mary Sue to me. Writers, you should know what that is, but for the rest a Mary Sue is pretty much an author self-insertion. Taken from Wikipedia, "...primarily functioning as wish-fulfillment fantasies for their authors or readers. ...single underlying feature of all characters described as "Mary Sues" is that they are too ostentatious for the audience's taste, or that the author seems to favor the character too highly."

Ok, here goes. Unpopular sort of mousy girl moves to dead-end town, immediately finds her the fancy of one of the most mysterious, charming, gorgeous boys in the school, oh wait let's not forget that other guy in her class that has a serious crush on her (Mike), the guy that hits her with her van and then asks her out for like forever (Tyler), OH, and the werewolf that develops a severe crush on her (Jacob), oh and wait, I forgot that other geek that talked to her on her first day of school and got all googoo over her (Eric)... and that's just the first book! Again, wait WHAAAAAT? It's a bit much. The main girl really doesn't need nearly every main guy fawning over her, does she?

But then again, what high school girl (or any girl, maybe?) wouldn't want a werewolf and a vampire fighting over her? And add some silly ol' humans in for fun? Now I know Steph wrote this book from a dream she'd had (chapter 13), but it seems like she may have had a boring old youth and is making up for lost time.

Movie Edward

Now I REALLY may be the only girl in the world to think this, but I think movie Edward is well ........ yucky looking.



The Cure called, they want their bad hair, semi-stoner eyes, and sickly skin tone back.



Okay, those are my main three points of contention. Well, the first two really, I'm just getting tired of seeing three eeeeverywhere! And I understand that it's supposed to be written as a fantasy novel, but IMO there are just so many other fantasy novels that aren't as amateur and mindblowingly overpopular. Anyone else not a Twilight fan? Or are you a fan, and want to holler at me for defaming literary genius? *hack cough* :) In all seriousness, if you like Twilight, you should check out her book The Host. Amazing story, I loved that one!!

And I love y'all, no matter what you read! <3

14 comments:

Mrs Soup said...

Ha. I'm a fan of Twilight AND agree with your thoughts.

I enjoy Twilight as my candy. I read it when I just want to be immersed in a mindless story. It's not great literature. It's barely even good literature. But I still enjoy it.

Does that make sense?

Oh, and Movie Edward totally can jump of a cliff. Kthxbye. ;)

Gabby said...

You're so funny!

I have not read the books ... and only saw the movie because some friends were having a movie night at their house.

I agree. Edward=ugly. Jacob=HOT! Well, at least IMO. I do agree that the love story developed too quickly.

Sadly, it happens in too many movies and shows nowadays. Where's the good ol' romance?

Oh, which reminds me: Hot girl in Transformers would NEVER, ever date Shia. Just sayin'.

Nicole said...

I agree. I am not a fan either. It didnt even spark my interest enough to steal the book from my mom. I saw a preview of the latest movie and I was NOT impressed. I just dont see what all the fuss is about. But Like you I am not a hater =D Whatever floats your boat =D

noelle said...

I hate to admit - I did read the entire series in like 2 weeks. Usually I don't fall for that kinda claptrap...

While I think the writing was terrible, I do have to give kudos to the author who knows how to create a storyline that is unique to the many other mindless romances out there - most other scenarios have been redone ad nasueum. Face it, the American public likes to be entertained and will take anything at face value, which will allow them to easily project themselves into the story.

I did test myself though - I tried to pick up Twilight again, and found myself kicking it to the curb when I realized what a piece of crap it was. Once the newness of the story wore off, it read like any other poorly written tome.

Just my 2 cents...

miss moose said...

I couldn't read the books just because of the terrible writing- interesting plot or not, if the author's writing is crappy, I cant make myself read it. But, like you say, each to their own :)

PS I think you might like this post by skinnysbitching - http://skinnysbitching.blogspot.com/2009/10/okay.html#links - so so funny!

Lan Nguyen said...

Oh Twilight....if you can't say anything nice...

I'll admit I read all four though within a LARGE space of time inbetween each. I'm one of those people who have to know how things end, even if it's a terrible series, I'll finish it. I think the first book was the best of the series. I think Meyer has something of an imagination, but she can't take it far enough. She made some bad creative decisions (*cough* sparkling vampires *cough* *cough*) Plus, she's a terrible writer. I really didn't care for the characters, except Jacob--who gets a lot of flack in my opinion.

Her plot is nothing spectacular or truly original. It does cater really well to an audience of hormonal teenage girls or shy, quiet bookworm girls. Ironically, Meyer was originally intending to write for an adult audience, but her editor or publisher told her she had written a teenager's book. I'm okay with the people who like the book, but recognize and admit it's written terribly. I can't stand the people who pronounce it as "the greatest book ever!" or "amazing!"

The Caped Tirader said...

I'd have to agree with you for the most part, Sami. I actually listened to all of the books (because Mrs. Caped wanted to- had to throw that in there) during my communte to work (an hour each way) and they aren't very good. I am a fan of vampires, as I am a fan of horror, BUT these books aren't about vampires. Bella is an annoying character who's self consciousness is, I guess, supposed to be endearing but is just, well...annoying. I have been watching True Blood and, as much as I like Anna Paquin, I am starting to feel the same way about her character.

Meg said...

I kind of hated and loved twilight at the same time. i read all the books quickly, but was irritated at myself while I was doing so. but yeah, movie edward...is it just me or does he look a whole lot like KD Lang?

lifelove'n'wine said...

Ok, first of all Chachi hit on and tried to get with Joanie for seasons and seasons and seasons of Happy Days so that didn't happen overnight.

Secondly, I am also not a Twilight fan...but I didn't even attempt to read the book. It just didn't seem like something I'd like. And movie Edward is icky.

O.F.C.J. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
O.F.C.J. said...

I haven't read any of the books, or seen any of the movies. But no, I don't like it. I just have no interest. I saw the preview for the third movie during the VMAs. It looked like it may actaully be interesting enough for me to want to watch. T'was stimulating enough to look like it's own plot without prequels or sequels. Waaa.
I liked Buffy and Angel when they showed on telly.


O.F.C.J.

Alice said...

Cullen is gross looking!!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks that.
If I saw this guy coming towards me in a dark alley I'd be pulling out the pepper spray, not throwing myself into his arms.
He looks like he just bit into a lemon and its trying really hard not to tear up from the sourness.

And yes, everyones love for Bella is completely unrealistic. And getting married so soon? I mean, they've only known each other a couple years (and for much of that time Edward was avoiding her) and now they want to spend eternity together?
Don't buy it.
I mean ya, Edward's beautiful... (in the book, not in the movie) but eventually she's going to get over that

Mellie said...

Vampires don't sparkle. D: And why doesn't Edward shower? Looks like he needs several.

I haven't, and won't read Twilight. I read enough bad writing from 15 year old girls as it is, I don't need to read published writing that's just as bad or worse.

What really irks me is that it's a blatant rip off of so many other novels (L.J. Smith's Vampire Diaries comes to mind) and a mashup of everything even remotely cool about Vampires. :( Wtb vampires that can't go in the sun and don't sparkle plz.

Kelsey said...

yes he is yucky looking. book edward is much much much more adorable.
(and we are married).
(and i hated the first movie. can't stand it)
(the next one better be awesome)

-Kels